Your shame is your greatest ally.
I thought I was confident in my work.
So, when my online haters tried to rear my ass into the ground, I thought to myself…
“I'll just take a break from it all. The momentum is magic. The work speaks for itself. Stop it all. And see what happens. You've got enough money in the bank to restttttttt. Focus on your body goals and relationship goals and let it all settle online.”
The first few months were great.
It was like a much-needed vacation I didn't know I needed.
I studied with three different teachers to take me deeeeeeep.
I hired somatic facilitators, embodiment guides, astrologers, and energy workers instead of business and purpose mentors.
I became more and more advanced at the actual offering I bring.
But as time went on… I lost my confidence in it all, online.
Fear was strong… because would anyone even see me anymore? My victimhood story was that the haters fucked up the algorithm for me. And I was also like… “Do I even want to be seen?! Do I even know what I'm saying? And what if it happens again?”
Shame was strong… because I was making multi millions every year and then I let it drop down to what some would still call very successful but to me was a drastic change and nowhere close to my potential.
But as purpose will do…
The nudge to return to my essence in coaching, guiding, and bringing women on the ride with me came back very strongly.
But I questioned if I could do it!!
I questioned if I had the courage to face it all or the energy to devote to it, especially after so much time sinking in to the “ease” of time off.
Ease… ha… yeah right….
Funny thing is… it was the HARDEST TIME OF MY LIFE. It was the least bit easy.
That's the small selfs little trick on us. “Oh yeah just stay in your muddy world… it'll be easier!” Nope.
Stopping my momentum…
Stopping my bigness…
Stopping my voice..
Stopping my channel…
Was alchemy for the most mind-swirling and power-stinking time ever.
There were days I didn't recognize myself.
I thought… “Is this what depression feels like?!!!" Truly amazed that this was my reality.
My relationship with Allan suffered at the time as I brought to him my woes almost every day around it all.
But before I let myself get swirled into this downward spiral portal…
I used to wake up in the morning energized and excited to serve!!
I used to wake up feeling LIMITLESS and like anything was possible!!
I used to wake up and feel, channel, create, enjoy, and radiate!!!!
I used to wake up with multi 6 figures coming in monthly and playing in the realm of service and money!!
And somehow I found myself in a sea of “but it doesn't matter because you have money you can just rest.”
But it wasn't rest, at a certain point.
At a certain point, it was torture to my soul!
But I also felt sooooooo much resistance to confronting the fear, shame, and self-doubt that circled my space.
It was big.
But God had wider plans for me.
And I know God has wider plans for you as well, if you find yourself on the edge of a cliff right now too.
At a certain point, I started to see through the smoke.
Even though my mind was saying “rest, relationship, nervous system, healing, time off”….
My body, soul, and life were SHOUTING… “This does not feel good!!!!!!!!!!”
When I saw it, I couldn't un-see it.
My fears and my shame can be the greatest fuel for success.
(Like they always have!!!)
At the very beginning… I was SO afraid to be seen as a fraud… and I showed up anyways and spoke vulnerably to the journey.
Later, I doubted my magic and decided to work at a smoothie bar because I didn’t believe in myself… But when I finally got to the other side and made my first $20k from a launch, the fears were the story for my success.
When I ended a 2-year relationship where we taught online together… and had to share that it was right to shift out of intimacy… I was so afraid people wouldn’t trust me anymore… but I let it fuel me for more.
This moment was no different.
Everything came rushing to the center.
I saw how I disowned my former self, and made her wrong.
I saw how I pushed away my purpose, out of a fear of hurting people or leaving them behind.
I saw how important my work is FOR ME, and when I don't give it… everything in my life suffers.
My codes around feminine energetics, power, eros, sovereignty, taboos, living the edge, going first, and provoking people out of collapse came rushing in.
I hired all the mentors right away, and made sure to make a huge investment in my growth.
A movement and brand landed into my lap!!! (Will be launched this year)
And eventually…
The portal of New Woman was created: A high-touch 10 woman inner circle for women on the edge of the extraordinary in business, brand, and life.
If you’re curious… you can read on.
XO
New Woman will awaken your medicine and have you radically choosing the new path that God is starting to lay down for you in your work.
New Woman will catalyze your greatness.
New Woman will be the investment that shifts your whole reality, if you let it.
Who it's for?
You- if you've landed success in your business that's felt good (even fucking great) but are so ready to lean in and commit in a way that's truer than ever before.
… holding your sacred feminine self close.
… holding the lessons from the underworld.
… holding the depth that life has rocked you into.
… ready to build a world changing brand.
New Woman is for women who know that high-touch coaching environments get them in the room and the conversation that sparks creativity and clarity like never before.
For you, in your Phoenix-rising moment.
For you, in your two feet in moment.
For you, in your 10-year vision moment.
For you, in the moment I was in.
On the edge of the extraordinary.
Ready to explode your magic… into greatness, fun, mastery, play, pleasure, and deep service for all beings forevermore.
I fucking love you.
The first 3 spaces (with the bonus coaching call) have already been taken.
But whoever applies next gets a bonus 1:1 with me as well!!!!!
Again: you are IT.
XO